stevie knickers

I am not trying to win any more. When I was younger I think I saw life more as a game. But now all I want is true connection. I want to understand things. And to see things clearly, not through the filter of my own idealism and projections. I am not scared anymore. Truth and sadness purified my soul. I want to be a good person.

One thing that is very hard in life is that you need to live like you could die tomorrow, but you also need to live like you could live to be a 100 years old, because both of them could happen, and you have no way to know. So you need to live so you would be happy even if you died tomorrow but also so that you would be happy if you live to be a 100 years old. And finding the balance between those two things can be pretty hard I think, do you know what I mean?

I just found some moss in my hair..

I feel kind of lobotomized after the weekend. but it was a very fun one. I met a lot of people who I like very much and there was everything nice that one wants from a weekend, and even though there was some drama and we joked it was a lost weekend I didn’t feel lost at all … one could actually say it was a found weekend …… jk jk

on the Saturday Paula, Ella and me rented a car and made a break from the city. we listened to music in the car, we bought some different weird new sodas and Paula bought cookies and we saw Swedens first brick building. It is a monestary church from the 1200s and the founders were still in their iron caskets in a crypt fully visible underneath the chapel, count Orlok style. then the sky behind the castle turned completely pink and the lake reflected it, we found an orchard with very old and small apple trees where we ran around and then rested. It made me so happy. here are some pictures.